White Oleander by Janet Fitch - Must Read For Mothers and Daughters

I have read numerous parenting books written by psychologists and PhDs that claim to have all the answers. None of those books impressed me or made be a better parent. White Oleander, which is not a parenting book at all, but just great fiction, affected me so deeply and had a tremendous effect on my life. It helped me see the world through my daughter's eyes, experience her feelings, and understand the painful need kids have for their parents attention, approval, and most of all - their mother's love.White Oleander is a story about a girl, Astrid, whose mother is put in prison for murder. Astrid goes through a serious of foster homes and five foster mothers. Each of her "mothers" has a different personality and attitude to life, and it is amazing and completely convincing how Astrid changes with every mother - her behavior, her beliefs, her clothes, her ambitions, her self-confidence and self-worth. In one house she becomes a devout catholic, in another she smokes pot and co
ntemplates suicide. In a matter of weeks, with a new very loving "mother", Astrid become a good student, takes professional art classes, goes to museums and plans on going to college. Her view of herself goes through gradual but dramatic transformations depending on how her "mother" sees her.Her real mother is a constant shadow in Astrid's life. They write to each other, and even in letters it is so obvious that Astrid desperately tries to gain her mother's approval. When she fails to get the approval she craves so much, she does not want it anymore, she just wants to get a shock, a reaction. Even though Astrid's mother claims she loves her daughter, Astrid is not convinced and she is searching for that proof until she is an adult.Just like some people are too selfish to be married, unfortunately some mothers are just too selfish to have kids. They put their own interests above their children's. Some people, and a lot of them are mothers, enjoy having another person under th
eir control that they can dominate and manipulate emotionally. That was the case of Astrid's real mother.It is interesting to see how Astrid struggles to accept the fact that even though she loves her mother, she does not like her, and does not agree with the choices her mother made in her life. It takes a lot of soul-searching and maturity for her to realize that she is not her mother, and she does not have to repeat her mother's mistakes.This book is a must read for all mothers and daughters, for all the parents and all the children, who are now parents themselves. It helped me better understand my relationship with my mother and all the feelings and emotions I experienced growing up. It also made me almost painfully aware of how dependent my young daughters are on my behavior, my words and reactions, and how badly all of us, both adults and children, crave our mother's love.

View this post on my blog: http://www.yourgamebook.com/white-oleander-by-janet-fitch-must-read-for-mothers-and-daughters.html