Love is the Foundation

Every parent would unanimously agree that love is the foundation of child rearing. A child's well being is dependent on the love relationship between him and his parent. According to co-authors Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell of "The Five Love Languages of Children", unless you speak the love language that communicates to your child of your love, he will not feel loved.What are the five love languages? Each child (as well as adult) expresses and receives love best through one of five different communication styles:o Physical Toucho Words of Affirmationo Quality Timeo Giftso Acts of ServiceIt's important to discover which one of the primary love language your child speaks because by "speaking" it, you can fill his "emotional tank" with love. When he feels loved, he would be much easier to discipline and train. If you have more than one child in the family, you will come to understand each may speak and hear a different love language.Chapman and Campbell advocate that the best f
uel for your child's emotional tank is unconditional love; show love to a child no matter what the child looks like, regardless of his strengths, difficulties and how he acts. They believe no child can receive too much appropriate unconditional love and that a child may be "spoiled" by lack of training or by unsuitable love that gives or trains incorrectly.Children need all five languages of love to keep their emotional tank full. To be effective in meeting his need for love, it is vital you learn of his primary love language, the one that speaks louder than the others. When your child is feeling discouraged or distant, you will be able to focus your love by expressing it in his primary language. You will find lots of practical ways to help you learn about your child's primary love language in the book.Just be forewarned that it might be challenging to try to figure out your child's primary love language if he is under five years old. However, the authors reiterate that the
foundation of love laid in the early years would not only increase a child's ability to learn, it would set him up all through his adolescence. If a child enters the adolescence years with an empty emotional tank, he is particularly vulnerable to the problems of the teenage years.The authors believe that by teaching our children to love others with all the love languages (through our examples) we will be helping them as they grow to become sensitive to the needs of others. To help an infant develop emotionally, you must express love in all the five languages. As your child grows, you will find that one of the five languages speaks far more deeply of your love than the others and when that one is used negatively, he will feel very hurt.Discovering your child's love language is a process and it takes time, particularly if your child is young as he is just learning to receive and express love in all the languages. By speaking your child's primary love language, the authors main
tain that it does not guarantee your child will not rebel later but he knows you love him and that can bring him security and hope.

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