The Sacred Marriage Book

The Sacred Marriage book and video series by Gary Thomas remind us that marriage is not a "what's in it for me?" proposition. Instead, he suggests that the purpose of marriage is to become more like God and to deepen our relationship with God.He doesn't suggest that marriage is or should be endless romance, and is frank about the struggle involved, warning the reader, frankly, that being happy is not only not guaranteed but probably not the end goal.Central ThemeIn this series, Thomas makes the point that we are married to imperfect spouses!..."If you were to divorce your spouse, interview two hundred 'replacement' candidates, put them through a battery of psychological tests, have follow-up interviews conducted by your closest friends, spent three years dating the most compatible ones, and then spent another forty days praying and fasting about which one to choose, you'd still end up with a spoause who disappoints you, hurts you, frustrates you, and stumbles in many ways."-G
ary ThomasI believe that this is the most powerful theme in the series but it also may be the most challenging one because it is so tempting to believe that the grass just might be greener on the other side of the fence.Love the One You're WithHe also makes the point that we all have been wounded and those wounds will play a part in our marriages. So he suggests that if we are going to make a different choice, it is perfectly okay to decide that we do not want to deal with this particular set of wounds. The caveat is that we need to make that decision before the wedding.Once the ceremony is over, our challenge is to accept that the marriage will be our teacher and to begin the learning process. It will shape our characters and teach us how to love, he says.And he states that the "difficult marriage" we all have at one time or another is not just there to help us love each other but to make us more loving, in general, and to strengthen our faith.Christian PerspectiveThough he
comes from a Christian perspective, I did not in any way feel as if I were being hit over the head with it, or expected to choose any specific religion. I noticed that he referenced books written by rabbis and others whose faith is not likely to be as conservative as his.My own faith is liberal by any measuring stick but I was very drawn to his writing because I know how important it is for his message to sink in that marriage is not a walk in the park, but neither is it meant to be.

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